


Five Ways to Touch Your Weird Best Friend (and One to Touch Your Weird Boyfriend)

by euseevius



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Touching, canon compliant doesn't stop me from ignoring all the sad bits and focusing on the yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euseevius/pseuds/euseevius
Summary: Lalli isn’t a very tactile person.He doesn’thatetouching, not really. He knows touching often means caring. But he still doesn’t really seek it out either, rarely initiates.Emil is a tactile person.Not to the point of being clingy - but he still likes touching people, likes how different touches mean different things. It’s a universal language.Or so Emil thought.But it’s all different with Lalli. A constant game of trial and error.
Relationships: Lalli Hotakainen/Emil Västerström
Comments: 17
Kudos: 108





	Five Ways to Touch Your Weird Best Friend (and One to Touch Your Weird Boyfriend)

**Author's Note:**

> saw [this post](https://livia-1291.tumblr.com/post/618744113948459008/someone-shakes-me-this-falls-out-of-my-coat-i) on tumblr & had to write some soft shit about these boys and all the different kids of touches they have shared in canon (and in my heart). enjoy!

1\. _‘Pat pat’_

Lalli isn’t a very tactile person.

He doesn’t _hate_ touching, not really. He doesn’t push Tuuri away even when she hugs him way too tight, most of the time. And he lets Onni ruffle his hair when he calls him stupid in that way that is more ‘ _I love you_ ’ than actually saying the words ‘ _mie rakastan sinnuu_ ’ out loud could ever be. He knows touching often means caring.

But he still doesn’t really seek it out either, rarely initiates. He lets Onni do the ruffling and Tuuri be the one who pulls him in. Lalli likes his space. Likes being a night scout, alone in the quiet wild. Likes 

He also, for some reason, likes to pat Emil.

Or maybe _like_ is a little strong word, but still. He keeps doing it. 

It had started that very first night, on the train - when Emil had babbled on in Swedish when he should’ve been sleeping, and Lalli, who probably should’ve been sleeping as well, but who still had a night scout’s sleeping schedule, had patted Emil on the head and whispered ‘ _hyvvää yötä_ ’.

And after that, the patting had slowly but surely become somewhat of a constant in their budding friendship. Emil looks tired after a mission? _Pat pat_. Emil looks bored listening to Sigrun’s debriefing? _Pat pat_. Distressed? _Pat pat._ Just there, sitting next to him? _Pat pat._

Lalli isn’t a very tactile person. 

He doesn’t really know why he keeps patting Emil. But he does. And Emil keeps smiling when he does. 

So, Lalli decides, it’s all good.

2\. Shoulders

Emil is a tactile person.

Not to the point of being clingy - he’s not one to demand constant hugs and cuddles, and actually gets kind of flustered and uneasy when someone does wrap him in a proper embrace. It’s _nice_ , but it’s also not something he’s used to. Just, like, a little bit weird.

But he still likes touching people, likes how different touches mean different things. A nice, firm handshake to make a good, trustworthy first impression there, and a friendly punch on the shoulder to signal companionship there. Playing hair salon with his little cousins, because letting someone play with your hair is all about _trust_ and _caring_. It’s a universal language.

Or so Emil thought.

But it’s all different with Lalli. A constant game of trial and error. And every time Emil thinks he’s got it now, _now_ he can really read the signals and understands the rules, Lalli will… throw a plate of soup into his face or something equally baffling.

Doesn’t mean that Emil is going to give up, though, or even that doesn’t _like_ this game of getting to know his new friend. Emil hasn’t had a friend like this before, not really, where you put actual _effort_ into understanding someone and trying to do things for them _on their terms_. Like taking days to sit closer and closer to them during meals before you actually sit _next_ to them. Or asking their cousin what _good job_ and _danger_ and _good morning_ are in Finnish.

Still. It’s a trial and error. And one thing more than others - - touching, and especially touching Lalli’s shoulders.

Sometimes it seems to be alright. Lalli doesn’t pull or duck away from under his arm when Emil throws it around his shoulders after a successful mission.

Sometimes it’s not. Once, Emil went to touch Lalli’s shoulder in a comforting gesture when he had his ears covered and looked profoundly uncomfortable. Lalli elboved Emil’s hand away, and since then, he’s learned that covered ears are a signal of _don’t touch me_.

Emil learns fast. When he tries something and gets hissing as an answer, he doesn’t do it again. Case in point: the time he punched Lalli’s shoulder.

That was way back in the beginning, when they hadn’t yet crossed over to Denmark. He had punched Lalli’s arm, and gotten a distrusting look in return. He had asked Tuuri to explain the meaning behind the punch, but still vowed to himself not to repeat the offense. 

Lalli might have weird boundaries, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to respect all of them.

(A game of trial and error. And every time Emil thinks he’s got it now, now he can really read the signals and understands the rules… 

Later, after a miraculous escape from what Emil will have thought of as a certain death, Emil will slip up and punch Lalli’s shoulder again in excitement. And Lalli will _punch back_.)

3\. Washing

Washing Lalli after he comes back from his scouting missions becomes Emil’s responsibility very quickly.

It’s a nice routine. Emil dumps water on Lalli’s head, and Lalli hisses or at the very least grimaces, like he’s a cat who's been forced into a bath. But he never really complains or protests, so Emil figures it falls into the category of ‘ _things Lalli doesn’t enjoy, but still tolerates_ ’. Much like Mikkel’s cooking, for example.

It’s a nice routine, but it’s also terrible. Emil always focuses on Lalli’s hair as best as he can, because focusing on anything else is too dangerous. He pours the water that is always slightly too hot - not enough to harm, but still on the side of burning uncomfortably - and massages the generic soap from their expedition supplies into Lalli’s scalp, as Lalli scrubs down the rest of himself. 

Emil makes himself think about the almost burning water and almost burning water _only_. Not the way he would maybe possibly very much like to go and get his personal shampoo from his own bag, and massage that into Lalli’s hair instead. And then run his hands in Lalli’s hair afterwards, feeling if proper hair care would turn it from coarse and dry to soft and silky. And if while Emil drying Lalli’s hair their eyes would meet and - -

No. Nope. Emil is not thinking of that. He’s not thinking about anything.

Anything. At. All.

4\. Sleeping

It’s not like they haven’t slept close to each other before.

There hadn’t been much space in the train, and even less in the tank. There had even been a couple of late nights where, before Lalli had run off to the night for some scouting, Emil had dozed off against Lalli’s shoulder during supper.

(Those probably should’ve bothered him, at least judging from the weird looks Tuuri had sent his way every time, but it really hadn’t. It had been weird, for sure - - but then again, most things are, in Lalli’s opinion. Especially when it comes to Emil.)

But that had all been before Lalli had gotten stuck inside Emil’s mind, leaving his unconscious body at Emil’s side. Before spending one terrifying night in an ancient trash can.

So what if they sleep closer to each other than before some nights at those abandoned barracks? There is no cuddling involved, nor even any proper touching. They just are… _close_.Maybe legs barely brushing against each other, but that’s it. Nothing more than that.

(Emil has a habit of having one arm extended towards Lalli in his sleep. Sometimes, when Lalli can’t sleep, he will stare at Emil’s hand and wonder _why_ he feels so tempted to hold it.)

5\. Face touching

If punching someone’s shoulder is a sign of companionship and letting someone play with your hair is reserved to people you trust, touching someone’s face means…

Emil isn’t sure what it means.

When he had first touched Lalli’s face, it had been early on in their expedition, while Lalli had been sleeping restlessly and Emil just wanted to somehow calm him. Laying a hand over his eyes had seemed to work that first time, so that’s what Emil had kept doing.

That face touching had been about wanting a nice thing to a friend, Emil thinks.

Next had been the gentle cupping of unconscious Lalli’s cheek on that shore after Lalli had saved them both in an unbelievable show of magic. That one had been more about Emil himself than providing anything for Lalli. A way to try and convince himself that they were still both alive.

Then it had been Lalli’s turn - - in the weird dreamworld that was somehow supposed to be Emil’s mind, Lalli had grabbed Emil’s face and held his head to the ground in an effort to stop Emil’s body from going straight to the things that wanted to eat them. So. That touch had probably been about necessity and saving him. So far so clear.

But the touches after that? Those are the ones Emil isn’t so sure about.

He doesn’t really know why he keeps, like, just _brushing_ his fingers against Lalli’s cheek in passing whenever he gets the chance. Or why sometimes when they are alone and Emil keeps butchering Finnish words, Lalli will just take his face between his hands and look him straight into the eyes with a weird expression, like _he’s_ the one trying to figure all of this out.

And oh. _Oh_. 

Maybe he is.

Because they are on top of an Icelandic mountain and it’s _pouring_ , and then Lalli has his face in his hands again and he’s just _staring_ at Emil. Unblinkingly. It would be kind of unnerving if not for the hopeful realisation suddenly growing warmer and warmer in Emil’s chest.

He tentatively takes Lalli’s face into his hands. Lalli still doesn’t blink. Emil decides to blink for both of them, closing his eyes and leaning in closer, slowly, slowly - because he hopes to whatever gods Swedes used to believe in that his realisation is right, that he isn’t messing anything up, that he hasn’t been the only one wondering and unsure - -

\- _and then Lalli is kissing him._

(It’s awkward and kind of terrible because they are getting both soaked _and_ cold, but it’s also kind of perfect because this, _this_ touch Emil feels like he can read.)

+1

They push their borrowed mattresses just a little bit closer to each other that night. Just a little, both because there’s no hurry now that they aren’t in constant danger in some Danish backwoods anymore and, more importantly, because Reynir is sleeping in his bed less than a metre away.

Emil falls asleep first, once again. Lalli is left awake alone, in the dim late spring night light seeping in through the windows. It’s darker than it will be in a month or two, but it’s still light enough for Lalli to almost be able to count Emil’s ridiculously long eyelashes.

Almost. He doesn’t, though. Because he knows staring at someone when they are sleeping is considered creepy. He got that lecture from his cousins once or twice when they were kids.

Instead he does what he has done during so many nights, and stares at Emil’s hand. He has once again extended one arm towards Lalli, and his open palm looks just as inviting as it did all those nights Lalli spent not knowing why he wanted to take it.

He knows now, though.

Lalli huffs a little at himself, and then takes Emil’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers awkwardly together. Emil squeezes a little, in his sleep, and Lalli huffs again.

He squeezes back and closes his eyes, letting sleep drift over him.

**Author's Note:**

> you're always more than welcome to bother me [on tumblr](https://puukkolesbo.tumblr.com/), i will probably even write stuff if someone dares and/or bullies me into it


End file.
